can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i think i have two assholes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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