i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
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You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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