I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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