You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
