u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you would pick up someone in the library
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Your cock deserves a montage
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
