Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
