Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
