I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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