hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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