Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
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Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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