Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
