is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
