The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
