just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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