I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
