I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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