how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
accomplished twins. life is a go
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
