marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
