did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
