I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
