I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
