Don't you send me to vm
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
