ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
