Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Quick, to the slutcave!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
