Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
