I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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