Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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