Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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