do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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