This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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