ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
