so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
