Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
