What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
