spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
