just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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