shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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