kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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