no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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