Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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