Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
