i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
