If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
