yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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