he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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