I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
