I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
