okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
