While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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