i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
