maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
