The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
