ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize