Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
