Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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