Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
