Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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