We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
