my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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