dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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