i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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