and you said cock pushups were impossible
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
