I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize