the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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